Parents force 18-year-old on vacation to Africa to reconnect with his heritage and family, he brings his PS4 with him on the trip and complains the entire time: '[They] forced me into something I was clear I didn’t want'

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    "AITA for being vocal about how unhappy I was about being taken to Africa for vacation?"

    Hi Reddit, I (18M) just graduated high school and need some perspective on whether I was out of line here. For months leading up to summer break, my parents had been planning a month long trip to a African country where they were born and where I was born too, although I moved to the U.S. when I was four and don't remember much of it.
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    From the beginning, I was clear that I didn't want to go. My reasoning was that I'd worked really hard all year juggling AP classes, dual enrollment college courses, and a 30 hour/week software engineering internship and I wanted to spend my last high school summer on my own terms due to it having sentimental value to me. I planned to continue working on my internship and put time into a passion project (an app I've been building) along with other hobbies and things I enjoy that will also help a
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    Despite my objections, my parents bought the tickets and kept pushing me to go. I only agreed after my dad said he wanted me to meet his sister (who'd had a stroke) and visit his father's grave neither of which ended up happening. We also agreed that I'd leave after two weeks instead of staying the full month.
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    Here's where I might be the a h le: once we got there, I absolutely hated it I tried but it just wasn't for me and due to language barriers it was hard to connect with my extended family. I also had some unfortunate mishaps in the form of a stomach bug, my PS4 breaking the only thing I brought to cope being somewhere I didn't want to be, my luggage being lost by the airline, and not being able to shake the resentment of being pressured into a
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    trip I didn't want. At first I tried to communicate my discomfort and wishes to leave a week earlier. However I was dismissed by them saying things like "this is your home" and that I agreed on two weeks. I ended up lashing out. I told my parents. I didn't like being there, that I wanted to go home early, and even said things. like "there's nothing here for me," which probably stung. The worst part being my extended family that I had just met knowing about my unhappiness after my mom leaked it.
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    While venting to my girlfriend, she told me she felt bad for my parents that they were probably really excited to share this trip with me and must've been hurt by my attitude. Which I can see, but I can't help feeling like they disrespected my wishes and forced me into something I was clear I didn't want, because even though I said no it didn't feel like it was an option. Honestly, I felt a bit betrayed by my gf, but her challenging me made me want to look for more perspectives to see if I'm mis
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    Edit: I've seen a few comments, and I get that I might come off as spoiled without full context especially considering how the trip sounds on paper. But just to clarify, a big reason for my frustration was that we didn't actually do the things I was told we would especially seeing my grandpas grave who I've only heard stories about. Most of the trip was spent sitting at home with relatives (who I couldn't really communicate with due to the language barrier), and we only left the house once to se
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    momentum of something I was deeply invested in. Which was something I did communicate but was dismissed. And yeah, I get that mentioning the PS4 definitely comes off as bratty but it wasn't about the console itself. It was one of a bunch of little things that just compounded how out of place and unheard I felt. For what it's worth, I paid for it myself and it was only intended to be played during down time think before bed.
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    I also did try to engage while I was there I helped out around the house, did daily chores, and was never actively ride to anyone. I wasn't walking around with an attitude. I just wasn't exactly smiling or enthusiastic, because honestly, I wasn't enjoying myself. Most of the time I was just trying to be polite shaking hands, sitting through conversations I couldn't really follow due to the language barrier, and trying not to make anyone uncomfortable. The only time I lashed out was privately wit
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: I believe that me lashing out in frustration may have made me the ah le due to my words likely having a detrimental effect on my parents feelings. This was pointed out to me by my girlfriend who thought I was being an a h le in this situation.
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    • Libba_Loo⚫ 5h ago · Edited 5h ago YTA, you sound incredibly entitled. You agreed to go for two weeks and you wouldn't even try to enjoy yourself (you brought a whole PS4 home console for 2 weeks? Really?) or make an effort to connect with the people around you. Your girlfriend is right, I'm sure your attitude was incredibly hurtful to your parents and insulting to your relatives in Africa. You will forever be known as the spoiled American cousin. To be frank, this attitude will not serve you w
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    You talk about your accomplishments in high school (internships, AP, dual enrollment classes etc). You're to be commended for those, but you wouldn't have had the opportunity to do any of those things, or work on your "passion projects", if your parents hadn't worked very hard to emigrate, which was probably a very tough choice for them, and set themselves up in another country so that you could have those opportunities. The least you can do is honor the place and people they came from and appre
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    MoxieOHara • 5h ago - YTA Good grief, you do come across as insanely entitled. You whined like a 2 year old about being taken to a country where your family has deep roots, where you have extended family, which undoubtedly has fantastic cultural opportunities for things to see/do, where you could experience things that 99% of people you know would never experience... for 2 whole weeks?! Oh the humanity!
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    Sometimes, we need to s k it up for the sake of our families. You could have given your parents the amazing gift of "wow, 2 weeks getting back to my roots, woohoo!" but instead decided to ...bring video games?
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    Anxious_Reporter_601 5h ago YTA. You're being a complete brat. Two weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Try harder with your family and have more compassion for your parents who are seeing their family in person for the first time in a long time.
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    ThingsWithString • 5h ago You're stuck in the classic third- culture kid situation. (Worth Googling it). [African country] is your parents' home; it isn't yours. They expect you, the kid who grew up in the USA, to slip seamlessly into a culture whose language you don't speak and whose customs you don't know. They don't want to see that your childhood wasn't their childhood, and your life not theirs.
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    Now that I've said that, it sounds like you sulked during the entire trip. "my PS4 breaking the only thing I brought to cope being somewhere I didn't want to be" is a giveaway. You don't make it sound like you tried; there isn't a moment of "this wasn't what I wanted, but I decided to give it my best shot." I can't help feeling like they disrespected my wishes and forced me into something I was clear I didn't want
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    They absolutely did. Sulking while you were in Africa -- and your extended family could see that you were angry, it wasn't just your mother's leaking it -- wasn't an adult response, and it didn't make your situation any better. I'm sorry, but ESH.
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    gimmeluvin 5h ago • Look at it this way, the trip is over and the damage is done. You've created a poor impression with the people your parents wanted you to get to know. That's done. You diminished their enjoyment of a trip they had been enthusiastic about sharing with you. That's done. You have the rest of your life to do all the things you want to do. Will you end up doing them with the support of your family, or will you be on your own? Your behavior will determine the answer to that.
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    Consistent-Pickle-88 · 5h ago As a 2nd gen Nigerian American, I think your attitude about visiting your African country of origin is awful. YTA.
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    JustANessie • 5h ago YTA You sound a bit spoiled and selfish. I hope it is just the writing and not your overal attitude
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    OldSaggytitBiscuits YTA. They're trying to share your heritage and culture with you, and you're being defiant, closed- minded, and spoiled. I think you know that, though.
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    hydraheads YTA, hard. This is the country where you were born and where you have extended family. You can work on an app whenever. If this trip had been a graduation present, that would be one thing. But this was a family vacation and afaik you live with your parents, despite being 18. Stop being ungrateful and appreciate the world around you.
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    allison-vunderland YTA and a massive spoiled brat. Your parents must be so embarrassed by you and your actions.
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    CSurvivor9 5h ago • YTA. You agreed to go. If you were going to whine like a 4yo, then you shouldn't have agreed. You were given a huge opportunity to learn and experience things most don't get, and you crapped all over it. It was a vacation, not a lifetime commitment.

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